Tonight I was discussing suicide with a close friend. Not in the capacity of committing it, more of a philosophical contemplation of it's ramifications. I began to explain why I maintain an "out", how I keep a method of suicide readily available in my own home, at all times. A discussion I thought would be best shared.
The ability to take one's own life is a power that every person possesses. It is a power frowned upon and generally viewed as unacceptable by society. Suicide is devastating, to family, medical personnel, everyone involved, I'm not disputing that. In a sense the idea of it is empowering though, that regardless of what occurs during the day, however daunting and painful it may be...I have an exit strategy. The adult version of the proverbial baby blanket.
While on mission in Iraq, I carried 210 rounds of 5.56mm ammunition in 7 magazines. I also carried one more round...the bullet in my shoulder pocket. While I served while Iraq was calming down, the thoughts of death, injury, and capture were ever present. We often conducted patrols with the nearest help hours away. So in the event of a fire fight, and I ran out of ammo, I still had my baby blanket.
About Me
- @CombatJuicebox
- I am the soldier painting the peace sign. A contradiction. Torn between the life of inexorable contentedness and steadfast perseverance.The tribulations of a young man wrecked by guilt, attempting to discover salvation through prescription behavioral medication. While it may seem like a depressingly hopeless enigma, it simply is not. Like each voracious hurricane, there is always the eye of the storm, a moment of brightness and brilliance.
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