My first blog post. It is 12:01am, October 19th 2010. I returned from approximately 10 months in Iraq 2 weeks ago. Coming home has been the most challenging expirience of my life. A survivor of childhood sexual abuse, it was suggested I might of been expiriencing Post Traumatic Stress Disorder prior to even joining the military. The multitude of issues I wrangle with on a daily basis were simply compounded by the events of my deployment. It seems that my life is a continuous battle of confidence. As if it is the very foundation of my life.

Taking a step back....I suppose I don't know quite how to explain it all. Maybe I am a coward. A 21 year old boy wrought by panic attacks, jumping at loud noises, tempermental, raging from wildly aggresive to childlike in a brief moment. Humility has won this battle, and I will allow someone to do a far more proficient job of explaining than I.

"I try to keep up, I’ve been exchanging my currency. While a million objects pass through my periphery. Now I’m rubbing my eyes cause they’re starting to bother me. I’ve been staring too long at the screen. But where was it when I first heard that sweet sound of humility? It came to my ears in the goddamn loveliest melody. How grateful I was then to be part of the mystery, to love and to be loved. Let's just hope that is enough"